Conversations: Dealing With Loss

I am.

This blog is out of the norm from my monthly post. But the sudden loss of my dearest life partner has made me reevaluate assumptions I have held for a long time.

1. Life can and does change in an instant whether we like it or not

2. Grief is personal, and no words bring comfort to it

Life can change in an instant, was a quote, not a reality for me. Now I know how true that statement is. We all intuitively know we are not guaranteed tomorrow. However, we still live holding on to grudges, not calling loved ones, not stopping for a minute to smell the roses. We postpone things we should do now for tomorrow assuming we have time. People, we don't have time. It is an illusion. Let me challenge you, do not let a life tragedy remind you of this painful lesson. Hug those you love. Share your love. Smile. Call. Connect.

Next, grief is so personal that no two people will ever experience it the same way. And we often assume one person loss is greater or less than the other. I am not sure anymore. As I stood and paid respect to my love, I could see the audience in the chapel all deal with a personal pain that was unique to them and maybe as painful as everyone else in the room.

This painful realization reminds me of my role as a dad and what I need to do with my boys. They need to be told the following:

1. I love you to the moon and back and beyond

2. I am proud of you as young boys who are growing to be responsible adults

3. You and I are NOT promised tomorrow, so when you miss me, remember that I love you and I am proud of you. For that were the last words I shared with you.

4. This means every time we speak, on good days and bad days, we will always end the conversation with love.

5. When you grieve, do it any which way you want. There is no roadmap to it and do not let the world tell you how.